


Meteors were stars before they fall

by ffdemon



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Interspecies Relationship(s), Kalluzeb gift exchange, M/M, Past, bad dream, kallus is not good with emotions, rebel kallus, slum boy Kallus, the meteor is there, those boys are bad at emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:04:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9562427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffdemon/pseuds/ffdemon
Summary: After a dream about his past, Kallus is doubting he would ever be able to do the right thing. Being a rebel don’t erase his past actions. Lucky Zeb won't let him lose himself in those thoughts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Italic : Dream  
> Haft beta.

_He was cold, scared, hungry and few seconds before dying._

_Those were common feelings when you live in some of the lower level of Coruscant. With all the crime around the neighbourhood every day was a combat to survive._  
  
_But today it was different, the district was under attack._  
  
_He hushes the three children that he has hidden in one of the drain pipes. He didn’t know what is really going on at that point, with all the blasters shot being fired, he couldn’t really look out. He can only wait there and hope they won’t be killed. That whoever those gang members won’t come here and just finish up those kids. He brings his leg against his chest trying to hide himself more between the crates. Not an easy task considering he was over six feet tall already._

_All of a sudden everything went quiet. So suddenly that for a moment he worries he might have gone deaf or something.   After harrowing second, he catches the sound of someone’s voice ordering something. He motions to the others to be quiet as he takes a slow breath and finally peak up from his hiding place, only to fall face to face with an unfamiliar uniform clad man. He steps back fast as his hand reach for a weapon hiding in his rag._

_“Don’t be a fool boy.” The man says raising a hand to stop the white armoured man behind him. “This neighbour is now under the protection of the Galactic Empire. You can come out now.” The man eyes move in the direction of the other one. “All of you.”_

_He steps away from the crates his brown eyes looking at all of those people. Who were they? Galactic Empire? He has heard about the republic having trouble … but those weren’t Separatist. What that means for him?_  
  
_The man motions to one of the armoured soldiers that brings a few grey bundles of what look like fabric. “The Empire is there to help. We can use all the help we can to make this world a better and safer one for everyone.” He says._  
  
_The other kids look up at him to be sure they can take the bundle the soldier was distributing. He nods slowly still keeping his eyes on the armed man behind the officer. He only looks back when one of the children makes a happy noise. To his surprise the bundles are blankets and ration bars._

_The officer takes one and handles it to him. “Young man like you could help a lot.” He says. “Here warm yourself up. We…”_

_Whatever he was saying was suddenly lost. Everything seems to be shifting. The imperial officer was replaced by a familiar purple form._

_“Here, warm yourself up.” The lasat says as he throws something yellow toward him._

  
Kallus eyes snap open as he manages to keep a gasp in his throat. He feels disoriented for a moment as his brain catch up. He sighs when he realizes he was in the room he shares with Zeb on the rebellion base. The room I bask in the gentle yellow light cast by the meteorite that is resting on the shelf on top of their bed. Zeb’s characteristic snoring coming from his bed other side of the room helps grounding him in the moment.

He runs a shaky hand on his face. He has been years since he has dreamed about his life before the Empire. Why now? He doesn’t appreciate the feeling of guilt that invades him at the moment as he thinks about that day.

Needing some space, Kallus carefully sit down and wince when the bed creak. He holds his breath when Zeb groans something and his left ears twitch, but the lasat continues to snore. Kallus smiles affectionately toward his partner and shakes his head. When he feels safe the lasat could sleep through nearly anything. He takes a moment to put his boots on and look back at Zeb to be sure he’s still sleeping. Kallus finally gets up, made his bed and made his way out.  

Kallus shivers as the wind hit him. Their room is warmer than most parts of the base thank to a combination of the meteorite and Zeb that is pretty much a living furnace. His right leg ache at the sudden change of temperature. Even after all this time and how well it has healed, his leg still did not like the cold.

For a moment he thinks about going back in to grab his coat but decide against it. That would surely wake his bed mate and right now he needs to be alone. Anyway it was just the wind. He has faced worst before.  
  
Without a destination in mind, Kallus walks around the base. He makes sure not to go close to the main part like the command centre or hangar. For the most part the rebels have welcomed him but many still have trouble with him being an ex-ISB agent. He can’t blame them. It still disconcerted him how easily he has found a place in the rebellion. Sure his knowledge of the Empire protocols has helped a lot on the fact they haven’t executed him on the spot and listen to him. In the Empire an ex-rebel sympathizer would never have freedom of movement on base or on a ship, even less to be part of one of a key team like the Ghost crew. So not provoking anyone by sneaking around important part of the base is the best option.

He moves to a more remote part of the base and sit on some crate. His eyes are automatically drawn to the sky. It always has a calming him to watch those millions of light. Even after years working on various imperial ships, starry sky still takes his breath away. Part of him goes back to that day when he has taken the shuttle from Coruscant slums to the all-new imperial academy. He had been more scared than he ever was in his life but the moment he sees the infinite sea of gleaming and glittering stars he feels at peace. He had no barrier now and his new life was right there.

Kallus clenches his fists a thought. Now with all he has discovered… He wonders if he has always been so blind all this time did at some point the Empire has been what it was promised or it had been rotten since they begin. How many other soldier and officer had been deceived by the same lie he has been? How many good people he has caused to downfall?

His thoughts are cut when he spots a movement on his left. Before he can fully register the situation, he is on his feet and ready to defend himself. “Who’s there?” he calls out loud feeling a bit stupid. Like and attackers would answer him.

The light of the moon reflects on large green eyes. Kallus couldn’t stop a shiver that go down his spine. This has been a sigh that has haunted his nightmare for long. For a moment there he is back on Onderon. But there was no fire around him. Those aren’t the same eyes. The one in his dream is filled with hate and bloodlust; those in front of him are soft, warm and full of concern.  
  
“It’s just me.” Zeb’s gruff voice says as he walks out of the shadow.  
  
“Garazeb…” He breathes out. How could he have mistaken him was beyond him. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“I could ask you the same question. I was looking for you before you get cold.” He explains as he moving close. Kallus could see a blanket in the lasat arms and resist the yearning to take it.

“You didn’t have to. I’m fine.” He says anyway. He probably didn’t sound really convincing because the lasat shakes his head before he shove something in his arms and wrap the blanket around him. The sudden wave of warm that runs through him was a good clue on what was the object. A quick glance down confirms it was his meteorite.

“Trust me pal, I have. Or you will get cold and your leg will hurt. You will complain all day about it.” Zeb comment as he walks past him to sit down on the crate he was using a minute ago.

Kallus stands up a bit more upright and glare at the other male. “Excuse me? I don’t complain.”  
  
The lasat just grin in his direction clearly amused by his reaction. “Oh, you do Kal, just not the way most can hear you.” He reaches out with one hand, silently inviting the human to join him. Knowing Zeb won’t probably let him go until he does, Kallus moves to sit beside him on the small part of crate that was free but a purple arms wrap itself around his waist and in second he finds himself on Zeb’s laps. He prides himself not to have let out a yelp of surprise.

“You big oaf.” He says but he didn’t resist. He presses his back against the warm chest. “So how did I complain if it is not vocally?”

“There are those painted sights you do. You have a specific one when your leg bothers you, you know?” Zeb explains as his rest his head on his shoulder. “And you smell in pain too.”

Kallus blinks a few times. He knows his partner hearing and sense of smell his really strong, like any lasat, but it always surprises how he can pick up that kind of detail. “So how do I smell right now?” He haft joke trying to change the subject.

Zeb turns his head so he can press his nose against the curve where his neck meets his jaw. The human make a soft moan and press more against him even if his beard tickles his neck. “Melancholic.” The lasat finally answers in a soft voice as his strong arms wrap themselves more around his waist. He won’t pry more even if it is clear he has questions.

Resting the meteor on his legs to warm it up and wrapping the blanket more around him, Kallus is debating if he should talk about what he has dreamed about. It’s not just some random dream it part of his past … one of the things they don’t talk about. It’s like an unspoken rule between them. Past is past. Garazeb has hardly ever mentioned anything about his life on Lasan and Kallus never talks about his own action with the Empire. The only exception has been on Bahryn when he has talked about the lasat mercenary.

Time past together one that moon has changed things between them. Somehow the fragile alliance the forge then has been what has triggered his life change. From fulcrum to joining the rebellion when the Empire realize what he was doing, Zeb has been on that have believed in him. With time they have built something stronger than friendship. Neither of them calls it love out loud because it is something more. It an understanding to a level that not many could conceive.

They have been disillusioned warriors that find some purpose in life with the other at their side. They have both saved the other’s life, one literally and the other more spiritually. Without Zeb’s pushing him to search for answers… He would have continued to follow blindly and made the same mistake again and again.

Kallus rests his other hand on the arms around his waist. “I dream of the day I have my first contact with the Empire.” He begins softly. “I was a scared teen that only want to stop being bullied, cold and hungry. They offer me a warm place to sleep and a chance to defend the one in need. It’s been more than anything I can dream of at the time. I finally have the chance to become someone and not be a gutter kid all my life.”

Kallus feels Zeb’s ears move against the side of his head. He can’t see is the face but can imagine his surprise. He gave a low chuckle. “Let me guess, you thought I was the child of some kind of high class imperial officer or something like that?” ¸

“Well… Yeah.” Zeb answers clearly embarrassed. “To my defense, you have more tact, manner and are better-spoken that haft nobles I have met during my time as an honour guard.”

The human smiles sadly at that, he has worked hard to be able to hide his accent and use the proper “Imperial accent”. To leave behind his old life and persona as he enters the academy. “Hope yer aren’t too disappointed ter know I’m secretly a bum?” He asks forcing himself to use an exaggerate version of his lower Corsucant accent.

The lasat laughs at that and nuzzles the side of his head. “Are you kidding? That only made you sexier…” A low purr come came out of his throat. “You need to let that accent out more.”

“Sorry Garazeb, but I have to force myself to get it out. You will have to content yourself with my boring imperial accent.”  
  
“Such a tease.” Zeb sighs a bit but Kallus could feel his smiles against the skin of his neck.

The human let out a weak laugh before his sober up. He rests his head against his partner’s shoulder and goes back to staring at the stars. They stay quiet for a moment before he finds enough courage to continue his story. “Just remind me how much I want to leave but at the same time I have been the hardest thing I have to do in my life. I was abandoning a bunch of younger teenagers that look up to me. I was telling myself I was doing this so I can protect them to a larger scale.” He makes a disgust snort. “I never set a foot on my old districts ever since. I have gone to Coruscant a few times since but always for work. I have no idea what happened to most of them. Except one of the kids. He has followed my steps and join the academy but along the way… He has begun to talk against the Empire. It has been my first solo internal investigation. I realize now it has been a test. A test of my loyalty.”  
  
For once Kallus wish Zeb would say something to make him stop but the lasat just hold him closer to him. “I join the Empire to protect people that couldn’t but along the ways… I become the bully.” He has tried to not think about it much but tonight he realizes it was what has caused the wave of guilt. “While in the Bureau… I was haunting my own man. We were all on the same side and yet everyone is doubting everyone.”

His hand clenches around the meteor so hard that he could feel the edge digging in his palm. “Did I ever do the right thing? I feel like I have been a tool all this time?”

Zeb let out a small growl and turn him on his lap so they can look at each other. “Stop it! You can’t blame yourself for all of those past things.” He growls, “At the time it was the right thing to do. You believe in a cause and were ready to protect it. I understand that… I really do.”  
  
Kallus open his mouth to reply but Zeb put his large purple hand press not so gently on it. “No! I heard enough, now you listen.” He says sharply. When he was sure the human won’t interrupt him he takes his hand away. “You and I are quite alike, Kallus. We are loyal people and are ready to do a lot for the people that are our team… Our family. You were telling yourself, the Empire has given you a home … purpose when you didn’t have either. In return you have given them a blind trust because it was natural to. That’s how you are. We are wired like that.”  
  
They take a long pause. Kallus wasn’t sure if he would continue or if the discussion was closed. He stays in silence watching the lasat as his left ears twitch a few times. He is gathering his thought. He stays quiet and let the lasat find his word. He knows those never came easily to the other one.  
  
“Back on Lasan…” Zeb’s face becomes a mix of sadness and fondness. “As the Captain of the honour guard, my job was to keep the royal family safe as much as the kingdom. Still I was under the order of the Queen and her family. Don’t know a how much you know of Lasan’s politic … but let just say it wasn’t always peace and everything. We are a race of combatants. Conflicts between families were frequent and for the safety of people I had to arrest people I had seen as friends. Fight follows honour guard.” He explains softly. “Look I know it can’t compare to your experience but… What I’m trying to say is that you can’t keep blaming yourself for having followed an order for the greater good. Even if now you realize it wasn’t what you want to fight for.”  
  
He grabs his hand. “In the end… You did the right thing. You have seen what have been done and now do your best to correct what you can. Something can’t be changed … trust me I know, but you can always try to make a better tomorrow.” He pulls on the hand so Kallus will move forward and presses their forehead together. “You are making a difference….And this team won’t let you down. I won’t.”

“Is that a promise?” He asks in a whisper. He is ashamed by how childish he just sounds but it had come out without really thinking.  
  
“You bet, mate. You are stuck with me now.” His companion answers and brings him closer. “You are part of this squad now.”

Kallus close his eyes and squeeze the lasat’s hand. Zeb’s words did help ease the guilty feeling he have since he wakes up. He has doubted he would ever be able to ever forgive what he has done but maybe if he keeps fighting he would feel at least that he is doing something worth it of his life. He smiles at the thought that he won’t have to go down that path by himself, Zeb would be at his side along the way. This would be a battle of a lifetime and he wouldn’t trust anyone else more at the moment.

They stay like this longer, just enjoying the presence of each other. Along the way, the human has moved to rest his head against the broad chest and let himself calm down by the sound of the lasat strong heartbeat.

Kallus didn’t realize that he has doze off before he feels Zeb’s laying him down on something soft and gently take the meteor away from him. “Garazeb…” he mumbles and open his eyes.

“Karabast….It’s okay Kal. Just go back to sleep.” He says and runs a hand in his blond hair.  
  
“Did you carry me back to the room?” He mumbles feeling himself blushing at the thought of Zeb’s carrying him all the way through the base. He would have no dignity left in the morning.  
  
“I have and don’t worry nobody saw us.” He kisses his forehead and pulls away.

Kallus turns his head to watch the lasat move to put the meteor back on the shelf above his bed. Just now he realizes the lasat has laid him in his own bed. The human curls more under the cover before he moves back to give some space for Zeb when he came back toward him. The other male lay at his side, wrapping his arms around his middle and put his face in his neck. Kallus smiles softly when his lasat begins to purr.

It was a tight fit but they manage to lay their comfortable together. They don’t offend indulge themselves that kind of closeness but tonight Kallus needs it more than anything.  
  
“Good night my dearest.” He whispers and runs his hand in Zeb’s beard making the lasat purr even louder… He let the soft purr of his boyfriend lure him back to sleep. Tomorrow might not be easier but then he would have the strength to face it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to show me my mistake (gently please) Always ready to learn.


End file.
